Selflessness: Is it worth it?

Do you ever feel like being selfless is tough? You know the saying, “What goes around, comes around”? Well, I try my best to be selfless. For example, an hour ago, I started writing a different blog post than this one (which I might finish in a couple of days when I get the thought back) when one of my friends walked into my dorm room.

“You wanna play a quick game?”

Of course, he was referring to NBA2k13. Needless to say, I was in my PJs and writing a blog post and it was MIDNIGHT. So I said no, repeatedly. But, I decided to be a good friend and give him his game of 2K. I lost by two points. I tried to be nice, and I lost. When exactly does the “comes around” part kick in? That sort of thing seems to happen to me a LOT. Yet, I keep trying to be there for others when they need me. I don’t know why I do it. I just…like to make others happy. The world doesn’t seem to care about my own happiness. Also, my friend and I are SUPER competitive, so he decides to rub the game in my face, even though I was TIRED, ANGRY, AND I DIDN’T WANT TO PLAY IN THE FIRST PLACE. Seriously, a LITTLE bit of kindness in return for making him happy would be nice.

Image result for myself meme

I don’t know if I do anything for myself anymore. I guess this blog counts. I watch TV shows fairly regularly. I eat junk food. You know, I FEEL like being there for others is the right thing to do. I FEEL like I want to make other people happy. But I WANT to be happy, too, you know? I don’t do things for others because it makes me happy. I do things for others because it’s the right thing to do. They deserve whatever little bit of happiness I can provide for them, right? In the past week, there was only one time when I felt a real wave of happiness wash over me: when I got a text from my best friend back home. He told me that I have no idea how much our friendship means to him. That’s exactly why he’s my best friend: he has no idea how much our friendship means to me, either. There’s nothing quite like a true friend who ALWAYS has your back. I can confidently say that I only have one such friend. I have a couple of friends who have my back MOST of the time, but only one ALWAYS.

Image result for friend meme

Yesterday (by the time I post this), I went to an Oakland Raiders Bar and Grill with a friend of mine who is a Raiders fan. The Raiders lost. My dad is a Detroit Lions fan. The Lions lost. Basically, nothing has gone my way yet this year. I guess that’s what I get for being so optimistic about this new year, right? Well, I can still say that I have yet to break any sunglasses this year, so there’s that (though, I almost lost a pair twice).

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I ask the question, “Is it worth it?” of selflessness. The truth is, I can’t answer that. I FEEL like it’s worth it, but I have absolutely no evidence to back up that feeling. I guess, it’s the only reason I can think of for why I’m here. Why live life, if not for others? I don’t want to be someone who lives life out of selfishness: my own success, money, happiness, etc. Others are the reason I live. Others are the reason I get up in the morning. Others are the reason I do everything I do. Even the few things that I do for myself, I do so that I can recharge myself to be in good condition to do things for others. Anyway, I’ll keep looking for an answer to the question. If I ever find it, I’ll let you all know. In the meantime, it would go a long way if the world started repaying me for my selflessness with a New York Giants playoff victory tonight.


4 thoughts on “Selflessness: Is it worth it?

  1. Selflessness: Helping others get their work done, before you get your own work done…even though you have tight deadlines. You create tools that will help them get their information more quickly, and you get told you’re an “enabler”. So, you take a step back and try to let them figure things out for themselves, and you get told you’re “unapproachable” and “don’t share the same timelines and goals as the rest of the team”.
    Let me know if you figure out how selflessness works and where the boundaries are..clearly, I’m still trying to figure it out, too.


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