Vulnerability Amongst Other Things

“Trust someone until that someone gives you a reason NOT to trust them.” -TheHaysWay

The two quotes above are kind of on the same track. I’d like to talk about the first one, first. Today in my Business class, the professor showed a TED talk about vulnerability. You’re probably wondering, “How does that have anything to do with business.” The professor says vulnerability is crucial in business. I’m not totally convinced that’s true, but I do know this: vulnerability is tough. VERY tough. Vulnerability is a HUGE leap of trust. When you tell someone your deepest and darkest secrets, you expect them not to use those against you. I will admit that this blog is about the closest I can get to being vulnerable. I’ll let you be the judge of how vulnerable I am in this blog, but I hide the things that bother me on a day to day basis. I use the excuse that I don’t want to bother others with my own problems. I’m perfectly willing to help others with their problems, and I certainly don’t betray their trust when they do tell me their problems. But, I don’t really trust people with the deep stuff. I won’t even admit the deep stuff to my best friend. I would trust him with my life, but I don’t trust anybody with what I FEEL. I have been told my entire life that I would find at least one other person who thinks like me. That was basically a cliche as I was headed to college, “You’ll find someone there who thinks like you.” I still haven’t. I am THOROUGHLY convinced that there is nobody else who actually thinks like me. I confuse myself with my thoughts. How could someone else have even remotely the same labyrinth of a mind that I have? I think both like a nerd and a jock. I am both an extrovert and an introvert. I am both intelligent and idiotic. I am both funny and serious. I am both lively and boring. I can both love and dislike the same thing, simultaneously. I combine opposites in just about every way possible. Also, it seems like people tend to pry too much whenever I am vulnerable in a face-to-face situation. Once you start opening up, people want to hear EVERYTHING. Rarely do you find someone who will just listen when you tell them something deep. Maybe it’s because they have either the “You need a therapist” mindset, or the “Getting your entire life off your chest now will make you feel better” mindset. Nope. Not even sort of. It’s not that I don’t trust people with the information that I give them, it’s just that I don’t trust them to not try to pry too deeply. Also, depending on who you are vulnerable with, it may positively or negatively affect your capacity for joy and love. I have found that being vulnerable with someone generally means you love that person to some extent. But we would not be able to truly appreciate joy and love without the potential for sadness, anger, and hate. That’s the danger of being vulnerable: you may experience sadness, anger, and/or hate, but you have the potential to truly appreciate joy and love.

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I’d now like to sit on the throne of hypocrisy by discussing the second quote. When I say trust people until they give you a reason not to, I mean in regard to the small stuff. I trust people to help me out when I need them to unless they show me that they are incapable of helping out. There are definitely both dangers and benefits to trusting people quickly. Benefit: If you show someone that you trust them, they are more likely to trust you. Danger: A person you trust may take advantage of that trust. There is also a rare scenario where you trust someone and they prove trustworthy for multiple months or even years until they betray your trust in one colossal mistake. That is a REALLY unfortunate scenario. I do believe that my quote is modifiable in such an instance. Everyone makes mistakes. If someone proves their trustworthiness but makes a few mistakes, it’s okay. As long as they prove trustworthy at a much greater rate than they betray your trust. Nobody is perfect. It’s hard for anyone to be 100% trustworthy with the many different priorities and responsibilities that fall on each person. Be understanding. I doubt any married person can say that their spouse has never once betrayed their trust. I could be wrong because I obviously have no experience in the matter, but it seems like a fairly safe bet. It’s particularly hard when there are multiple people that you are trying to prove your trustworthiness to. Or when your heart and brain have different priorities. Your path won’t always light up the way you want it to. It takes many unexpected turns. Sometimes, something that FEELS right is not. At least, that’s what I’m told. Sometimes I wonder how much a person is shaped by the decisions they allow others to make for them. How many people can truly say that they stood up for everything they wanted and everything they believed in? NOBODY. Sometimes it’s possible to have too many people counting on you to make the right decision in their mind, and you lose sight of what the right decision in your mind is. Or the right decision in your heart. Sometimes when you want to switch up your priorities, you are reminded that you are restricted. Priorities aren’t always set the way an individual wants them to be. Sometimes they are set out of necessity. How different would your life be if you always did what YOU wanted? If you blocked out all outside opinions? How often do you let your mind make decisions instead of your heart? How often do you let your heart make decisions instead of your mind?

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The Blazers are getting FAR too close to this point.

Well, another day, another loss for the Portland Trail Blazers. They lost 93-92 in Philadelphia to the 76ers. They blew a 13 point halftime lead. Typical Blazers basketball. Total lack of second-half performance. Also, I believe I am 0 for ownership when it comes to the games for which I wear my Damian Lillard jersey. I’m really starting to think it’s bad luck. Which is a bummer because it’s a really cool jersey.

I finally got some exercise today! Got a nice hour and a half of throwing the frisbee around with a friend.

I also watched The Blind Side with some friends. I love that movie. I’ve seen it at least ten times now. It’s inspirational every time.

Today was the day that President Trump was officially inaugurated. I only saw the oaths of both Trump and Vice President Pence because the ceremony was during class. Luckily, my professor was willing to show the historic moment in class. I also got to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (MoTab) perform. They were great. Easily the best choir in the US. I’m so impressed by their unity every time I hear them.

In football news, we are TWO DAYS away from both the NFC and AFC Championships!

Ex-Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Gus Bradley was hired by the San Diego Chargers to be their new defensive coordinator. To use a line from Madden NFL 17, “Seems like reshuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.”

Baltimore Ravens LB Zach Orr announced his retirement today, at the age of 24. In a move eerily similar to that of ex-San Francisco 49ers LB Chris Borland, Orr has decided to hang up his cleats due to injury concerns. In his case, it’s because of a congenital neck/spine condition. Orr was considered the best young defender on the Ravens defense, even drawing the occasional review of “the next Ray Lewis”.

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As of now, the NFL’s International Series for the 2017 regular season will include the following 4 teams playing in London: Baltimore Ravens, Jacksonville Jaguars, New Orleans Saints, Miami Dolphins.

That’s all for TheHaysWay today, make sure to leave a comment on vulnerability and/or on trust and/or on the Trail Blazers and/or on exercise and/or on The Blind Side and/or on President Trump and/or on Gus Bradley and/or on Zach Orr and/or on the NFL’s International Series, along with a much appreciate like. If you are not yet a follower, become a follower to watch me try to be vulnerable. 🙂 Have a pleasant tomorrow.

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