Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and Girls. Seniors, Middle-Agers and Youth. Dreamers and Realists. Athletes and Nerds. Americans, Europeans, Asians, Africans, Australians and Antarcticans. Iron Men and Marsh mellows. Players and Gamers. Lovers and Haters. White-Collared Workers, Blue-Collared Workers, and Other-Collared Workers. People who know that Star Wars is the best movie franchise ever and people who deceivingly believe there is such a thing as a movie franchise which is better than Star Wars (just to be clear, there is NOT a movie franchise better than Star Wars). Fans and Participants. Today, I’d like to introduce you to a concept that is widely known, yet VASTLY unpracticed. It is a concept that I affectionately coin, “Effectivenessticityism”.
What is Effectivenessticityism? It’s actually easier to explain what it is not. Picture this: You have just been given a task. ANY task…Ok, I’m coming to the realization that it’s not easier to explain what it is not. Therefore, I will explain what it is. Same scenario: You have been given a task. ANY task. Now, picture completing the task. If you are like AT LEAST 99.9% of the people on this planet, you completed the task using one of the following two methods:
- You completed the task as quickly as possible to move on to the next, insignificant task you will be given by some lowlife who forces you to call them “manager” or “boss”.
- You completed the task as diligently as possible, making sure that it is as close as you could possibly get it to perfect (just for the record, perfect is a fictional concept, but I’ll get to that some other time). Now you’re sure to get a raise, right? Lowlifes give raises to brown-nosers.
What if I told you that there is a third method? It’s not number three, above. It’s more like, 1.5. Method #1.5 is Effectivenessticityism. It is the balance between methods 1 and 2. It’s so unpracticed, that it falls in between our counting numbers. It is completing a task as perfectly (cough…fictional concept…cough) as possible in the shortest possible time. Mastering Effectivenessticityism is impossible. The closest anyone has gotten to it is either 1.25 or 1.75, depending on which method (between 1 and 2) you like more. Having been through the IB program, I can confidently say that I have gotten to about 1.05 or 1.95. It’s amazing how different that .05 difference is. Really, I have read papers that people have taken 5 hours to write, and it’s only slightly better in quality than the one I wrote in 1.5 hours. I have also read papers that people have taken .5 hours to write. The quality of those is quite laughable compared to the quality of the paper that I wrote in 1.5 hours. I guess what I’m saying is, work hard on your tasks, but don’t allow that hard work to interfere with your personal time and change your schedule.
Now, how about some real life examples of Effectivenessticityism?
- Method-1: The San Diego Chargers will be the Los Angeles Chargers next season. Yep, they’re joining the Rams in LA. This is a complete lack of Effectivenessticityism. This move has exactly 0% of method 2 in it. This is not a perfect task for the following reasons: It gives Los Angeles ANOTHER crappy football team just ONE SEASON after they got their first one in a long time (and they weren’t even that excited about that first one), it ruins the city of San Diego sports-wise (seriously, who do they have to cheer for? The Padres kind of suck), and it ultimately diminishes the team’s fan base (the San Diego-based Chargers fans now hate the team for leaving them, while the Los Angeles-based fans have already become Rams fans and don’t want another crappy team coming to their city).
- Method-1.83: The Jacksonville Jaguars promoted Doug Marrone to be their new head coach on Tuesday. They also hired Tom Coughlin to be in their front office. Marrone almost turned the Buffalo Bills around before he opted to leave the team. Tom Coughlin won two Super Bowls with the New York Giants and also used to coach the Jags. Two brilliant football minds, who both know the Jacksonville way. That’s a great example of getting close to the perfect completion of a task. It was also done in a relatively timely manner, as they made the hires three days after Bill O’Brien made sure that he wouldn’t be fired, and they made the decision the day before any other teams hired new head coaches.
- Method-1.12: The Denver Broncos hired Miami Dolphins defensive coordinator Vance Joseph to be their new head coach. It is a timely hire, coming four days after Bill O’Brien kept his job and one day after the first new head coaching hire. It isn’t the perfect hire. The Dolphins defense was good enough to get them to the playoffs this season, but they struggled MIGHTILY against stronger offenses (see: Week 17 vs New England Patriots and Wildcard Weekend vs Pittsburgh Steelers). That said, the Broncos have much stronger defensive personnel to work with than the Dolphins have.
- Method-1.10: The Buffalo Bills hired Carolina Panthers defensive coordinator Doug McDermott to be their new head coach. It’s a timely hire, coming four days after Bill O’Brien remained in command of the Houston Texans, one day after the first new head coaching hire, and just hours after the second new head coaching hire. That said, the level of perfection is low. McDermott obviously lead a very strong Panthers defense to Super Bowl 50, where they crumbled against a pathetic Denver Broncos offense, led by the 298-year-old QB Peyton Manning. This season, McDermott’s defense got off to a slow start with CB Josh Norman lost to a high price tag that the Panthers weren’t willing to pay. Of course, he turned it around to make it a dead-stop when MLB Luke Kuechly sustained an injury. I have no idea why the Bills think he is qualified to be a head coach. I’m not even sure he was qualified to be a defensive coordinator.
That’s all for TheHaysWay today, make sure to leave a comment on Effectivenessticityism and/or on the Los Angeles Chargers and/or on the Jacksonville Jaguars’ hires and/or on the Denver Broncos’ hire and/or on the Buffalo Bills’ hire and/or on whatever is on your mind, along with a much-appreciated like. If you are not yet a follower, increase your Effectivenessticityism by becoming a follower. 🙂 Have a pleasant tomorrow.